Monday, June 11, 2012

Book review: Why Men Hate Going to Church By David Murrow


Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow is a comprehensively referenced book that seeks to address the issue of why men, more than women, abhor going and getting involved in churchy activities. Notice that it is about the problem of men with churchy stuffs, not about theological questions. This book is not a theological treatise, and does not seek to address soteriology issue, eschatology, etc although Murrow features prominently that the word "developing intimate relationship with God" sounds too girlie for a man. Instead, Murrow suggests that words such "becoming a follower of Jesus" give the connotation of our readiness to lay down our lives in battle, willing to undergo hardship, with full resolution to be a disciple of Jesus, etc; these words are more appropriate for men. In essence, the simple premise of this book goes something like this:

The church was originally intended for men. The reformation era, for example, saw courageous men willing to speak out the truth of the Gospel.

Unfortunately, as Murrow claimed, during the Victorian period (where Queen Victoria reigned), things turned out to be more refined and womanly or girlie. It was also during this time that economic recession occured; and many men were forced to work extra hard. This, together with the issue of a man not finding himself comfortable in a 'girlie" church, resulted in many men decided to keep working on Sundays rather than going to church. As a result, many who went to church during that time were females. In order to keep these female members felt at homes with a sense of belonging, the pastors had to adapt their sermons, songs, etc in a more female-oriented style. And this compounded the problem, resulting in vicious cycle.

Nonetheless, I find that Murrow's book to be heavily stereotypical. He paints a picture that the typical man is supposed to be a rough, muscular man. Within its pages, I find Murrow rather biased in such form of over-generalization.

Furthermore, Murrow focused too much on the externals rather than the heart issues.  He virtually blamed almost everything external the system has to offer (except for women, which he emphatically denies upfront in the Introduction chapter), right to the very trivial stuffs such as the types of decoration in the church, which may be perceived as too pinkish or girlie as well as the use of decorative flowers in church. As such, I think he does not render sufficient space to deal with the heart issue, which is more than important than the external.

In conclusion, I would say that I enjoyed reading this book with Murrow sprinkled a dash of humor throughout the book, especially the crude, clean jokes of churchy stuffs. He claimed that many of things we routinely do in church, such as holding hands, the different styles of churchy prayers, etc, are not comfortably handled by men. Nonetheless, after reading this book, I agree that this book is an entertaining, humorous book for light reading but it is NOT a convicting book. I don't feel much of  a punch from this book. I don't feel convicted if I were a man who does not attend church regularly. In fact, I would have felt good because now I know where and how to blame-shift my problem of not going to church. I don't sense Murrow was serious enough to deal with this issue at the core level (particularly with his frequent churchy jokes).

I personally don't think this book deserves a 5-star recommendation.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this e-book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


Saturday, February 18, 2012

Book Review - Leadership is Dead: How Influence is Reviving It by Jeremie Kubicek

Quick Summary

In a way, the concepts outlined in this book are not new – it is based on the timeless wisdom from the Bible. It is based on biblical principles such as:

For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. (Mat 16:25 NKJV)

I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' (Act 20:35 NKJV)

In this book, Kubicek started by describing the narcissistic culture that we are living in that emphasizes perception over reality, style over substance, words over action. In such culture that is obsessed with achieving celebrity status, we are constantly facing the temptations of self-preservation (the term he often uses in the book). We build walls of protection in order to preserve the “me-first” priority.  As he puts it:

“Walls are built for separating and protecting ownership. Once ownership of a parcel of land is claimed, boundary is established in the form of fences, property lines and walls. Once the borders are built, they can be defended, and most walls have a defensive process to protect them (p57).

[But] men and women who build walls to protect their status or income or their sense of security risk also restricting growth in their careers and relationships. They also tend to fall into a very basic transactional approach in which every interaction demands a give and a take. They “do things to get things”, but, otherwise they hide behind the wall (p56).

But while your walls protect you, they also restrict you and your ability to influence others (p24).”

To exert positive influence, one has to be intentional because the instinct for self-preservation is too strong (as a result of the Adamic fall, mankind become self-focused and self-preserved to cover up his/her nakedness and shame).

But as a leader, in order to leave a lasting legacy and to have a positive impact on the lives of others, one inevitably has to let go of the need to self-preserve.  With leadership position comes a certain degree of power. What we do with this power is important – do we use this power to empower others, or to overpower others?

However, as Kubicek pointed out, the doors of opportunity is normally always open, yet the timing of influence is crucial.  He said:

To be a true influence is similar to parachuting out of a plane. You need to understand the risks. You may be perceived as being too personal. You may not connect with the people in the way that you’d hoped. You may be shot down by comments form the person you are trying to help.

He highlights seven actionable steps a leader can take to exert positive impact on the lives of others. These seven actions are:  

1.      Give trust to become trustworthy

2.      Become credible, not just smart

3.      Be intentional in your influence

4.      Break through your walls of self-preservation

5.      Pursue relationship before opportunity

6.      Give yourself away

7.      Become significant in your impact. (Are you one of the significant persons in the lives of those you are trying to impact?)

Nonetheless, although overall, I think this book is well-written with a timely message, I still feel that Kubicek’s style of writing is rather lackluster, devoid of that kind of “oomph” especially for such a catchy title like this.

Key Insights

•    Leadership should be seen as a means, not an end; a vehicle, not a goal.

•    To exert positive influence on others is an intentional effort. It requires hard work. Be selective.

Personal Application
On page 195, Kubicek writes that in order to exert positive influence in the lives of the people around us, we need to ask ourselves this important question:

What is the margin between what they would say today and what you would want them to say later?
In connection with the above question, I have created a simple free downloadable worksheet to help us map out our goals to exert positive impact on our circle of influence. Click here.

Meaningful Quote

“Leadership is alive when it is used for others. It dies when it is all about you” – Jeremie Kubicek (from the blurb at the back cover jacket).

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Book Review: Jesus Calling Devotional Bible, NKJV Enjoying Peace in His Presence, edited by Sarah Young


No doubt that Sarah Young has written an inspiring, beautifully penned short pieces of writing based on Sarah's own personal journey notes where she claimed are based on God's impression upon her heart. Her writings were written in first person pronoun, so that, as the readers read them, it is as if, God is speaking directly to them. Whether those words are the direct results of God's speaking to her, no one can verify as they are subjective and personal.


Although these notes are scripturally based, but, I do find her to be rather presumptuous of her to relay those words to the readers as if God is speaking to them in the exact manner and arrangement. Our God is a God of creativity and He can use any part of the Bible at different times and in different manner to speak to different people of different background through the Holy Spirit. The danger of these kinds of writings would be to promote readers to rely on reading them exclusively and not through the Bible. A good devotional writer would be one who would encourage his/her readers to depend and rely more and more on the Holy Bible to understand the guidance and will of God with the help, guidance and illumination of the Holy Spirit, Thus, serving pieces of writing like these would be as if she is serving pieces of chewed food for re-ingestion.

Therefore, although these writings are inspiring, the readers should ultimately rely on the Holy Spirit and the Bible alone and not through secondary means in order to draw close to God.

See a review by Tim Challies on this book here:
http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/jesus-calling


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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this e-book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well by Billy Graham

This is indeed a very moving account by someone who has done it. The verse that keeps recurring in my mind as I think of Billy Graham is:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  (2Ti 4:7 NKJV)

In this narrative, Billy Graham shares his personal experience of growing older and in almost every page of the book, you can see a man who is full of confidence in the Lord. Although he is not a perfect man but rather has his own struggles, yet as you read his narrative, you couldn't help but notice that his deep trust in God is really palpable.

In these chapters, he talks about how we should view material riches and money, and how we should view our lives with a sense of mission from God as well as retirement. In the chapter on work, he advises younger people not be slaved to work so much so that our entire self worth are wrapped up in our work.

Instead of one who is fear of death, as he nears his last lap of earthly life, again we can see a man who rather embraces death as his days are drawing nearer and nearer home.

One can also see a man full of humility. In chapter 3, for example, he said that one would keep learning until the day one dies. He said:

Others brag, "We've been there and done that!" The truth is that we gain new experiences until we die."
In conclusion, this is truly truly a worth account to read, so much gem to pick.

The measure of a life is not its duration but its donation. - Corrie Ten Boom


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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this e-book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Just in Case You Ever Wonder By Max Lucado


This is a simple children book by Max Lucado illustrating the love of God and also beauty of family closeness and love.  Very well written.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this e-book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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Book Review: Night Night Blessings By Amy Parker

This is also a good book to introduce kids to count their blessings.
It is also very well illustrated although the illustrations are not as attractive in ebook format.
However, I find this book to be not so readable compared to the previous ones.


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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this e-book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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Thank You, God, For Blessing Me By Max Lucado


This simple children book is a good start to introduce kids to God, and a good one to introduce the concept of praying a prayer of thanksgiving for everything that God has blessed us with.

Amply illustrated although the pictures in the e-book (e-pub) edition are probably not as colorful and attractive as the printed ones.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this e-book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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